A matter of free choice
If you live here in America, a country based on freedoms, you were raised to believe that you have certain freedoms, freedoms that our forefathers fought for. One of these freedoms is the freedom of choice.
Each day we make hundreds of choices and we would like to think that we are actually choosing to make these choices, but are we really? Or are our decisions just an illusion of choice?
How we see the world is based on our life experiences and this directly reflects the decisions we make.
When you were a child did your parents teach you lessons such as, “You must work hard to get ahead”, “Money is the root of all evil”, or were you told you are selfish if you choose yourself first? And that you should not outshine another person. Did you ever overhear the adults in your life complain about not having enough money? What about the beliefs we have as a society? About how we think about work, our families, education, the police, the importance of having stuff, even what we should look like.
All of this creates the lens in which we make our decisions. Maybe you think you must work long hours to be successful. I had such difficulties taking time off from work, even if I was sick. I could tell another person to stay home when they were sick, but I was racked with guilt, if I stayed home. Placing myself first was never modeled for me.
What about your belongings? Do you need to own a certain car or carry a purse with a designer name? Why is this? Are these really your decisions or are we making choices based on who we think we should be, based on society’s standards?
When was the last time you took stock of your life? Are you happy with your choices? Are you doing the job you want to be doing? Are you living the life you want to be living? Do you know what makes you happy?
How often do you wake up dreading the day? Dragging yourself out of bed to go to a job you hate. You could justify that you need to work to support your family or that there just aren’t any good jobs out there, so I’ll keep this one. But these are choices you are making. And believe it or not, you can make another choice. In fact, you could make several other choices.
How about your lifestyle choices? Again, you can make all sorts of excuses about why you are living this life, but how do you want to live, where do you want to live, what do you want to eat? All of these are choices you have some control over. What are you waiting for?
The first step in moving towards making your own choice, is to know that you have choices. Start by visualizing your day. From the moment you wake, what choices are you making- do I make my bed, do I take a shower, should I eat breakfast, if yes, what do I want to eat, should I brush my teeth, do I drive to work or bike to work, do I want to go to work today? Can you see that just in this small bit of time in your morning schedule how many choices you have made. Yet we move through life on auto pilot allowing others to take responsibility for our day. These choices begin to set the foundation for the rest of our day. How empowering would you feel, if you chose how your day was going to go?
You also need to understand that you have a choice in how you feel. Emotions can come on automatically, they are a reflection of our experiences and our interpretations of these experiences. But they are not necessarily true. You can choose. Ask yourself, “How do I want to feel today? “
To gain more control in your life and with this a bit more happiness, begin to incorporate more “you” choices into your life. Take some time to figure out your thoughts on money. Are your actions aligned with these beliefs? Are you doing the work you really want to do or are you in a job someone else chose for you? Are you eating the diet you want to eat or are you influenced by media? This may mean you stop to consider if you truly want that second scoop of ice cream, or you are meeting some need you had as a child. And hey, if you choose to have two scoops of ice cream, feel good that you made this choice,.
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